Does God punish me for my sin?
In what way does/can/will He do so?
What forms of suffering are from Him?
What forms are from me?
What forms are from the world?
How do I teach my soul to look at You? How do I teach my soul to wait upon You? I need You for You, and for You I need You. How can my mind last under such weighty paradoxes – I look to You for I need You, yet to look to You, I need You. How can my mind my heart my soul my spirit bear this confusion?
Perhaps my soul is seared, or broken, or damaged – either way, there is no other place I dare turn to. May Your Word repair my broken mind, and restore to me a psyche and spirit that flows with You.