why do we as humans, feel the urge to ‘pay back’ every measure of grace with our own gifts? indebtedness perhaps shows a lack of understanding of who the giver is, and what his/her intentions were in giving. or perhaps it is our own pride that stumbles us; we cannot be seen as inferior, or less capable of producing such measures of grace.
i remember hating receiving things from my father; money, time, car rides, pity – especially pity. i felt like in receiving these things, i became indebted to him, and i hated that. i hated feeling like i was under him, owed to him. it was only after my identity in Christ was more firmly founded that i began to accept, acknowledge, and even express gratitude for these things my father was giving me.
the problem is back to faith, or the lack of it. Number 14:11 – they did not believe in God. they did not have faith in His character, to be good to them as He had been before, to heed to His promises to them, to bless them in their obedience.
what promises of God do i still not believe?